Attendance: The Deity, Leora Jasper, Dash Owens
Location: Outside a bar on Grand and Park
Note-Taker: Dash Owens
The meeting opens when the three interlocutors met outside an unnamed bar in Prospect Heights, where they commenced the debate captivating many New Yorkers: in or out?
After consulting google, the CDC website, a friend studying to be a pharmacist, and the expressions of other Brooklynites walking past them on the sidewalk, the crew decided on out. LJ ordered an Other Half Pilsner and I selected a tantalizing Folksbier sour. TD could not resist the Hot Buttered Rum.
TD: Look at us stimulating the economy right here.
DO: I think we can manage a cheers. Shall we?
[All raise their glass, though the glasses do not touch.]
LJ: Well…[LJ looks pointedly at TD]
TD: Well what?
LJ: I was just wondering if you were ever going to congratulate me.
LJ: My article. Twenty-three hot views on that piece.
TD: Oh, that one. [Checks phone.]
DO: I thought it was hilarious. Great sense of irony.
LJ: Thank you, Dash. That means a lot.
[TD still looking at phone.]
LJ: I’m thinking of writing a follow up.
TD: Maybe sit on that for a little while.
LJ: And why would I do that?
TD: I just don’t know if that is the sort of attention we want for the site. Those people from Twitter…they’re dangerous.
LJ: How are they dangerous?
TD: It makes some writers feel…unsafe.
LJ: Who feels unsafe? You?
TD: Not exactly…
TD: It’s more a general…
LJ: Oh, I know. It’s Queen Elizabeth, right?
DO: Okay, that’s a little too far.
TD: I don’t think that nickname is very funny.
TD: It’s mean spirited to call her that.
LJ: Well at least you don’t think it’s violent.
TD: You’re disrespecting her request to be called by the name of her choice. You don’t just get to disregard her wishes.
LJ: Why not?
DO: Okay, Leora. You’ve had your fun. Now cool off.
LJ: No, I will not. She wants to censor me. I can call Queen Elizabeth whatever the fuck I want.
DO: While technically true, it’s still offensive. It’s not always worthwhile to offend someone just because you can.
LJ: It’s not my fault if she’s too thin-skinned to take a joke.
DO: I don’t know, Leora…you’re the one sounding thin-skinned. Someone just asked you to stop doing something, and it doesn’t seem like you have a good reason to keep doing it except to protect your own pride.
LJ: I’m thin-skinned, now? I’m thin-skinned?
DO: I know you don’t like Biróg, and you don’t have to like her. But you do still have to treat her like a person.
TD: Exactly. Treat her like a person. Call her the name she prefers to be called.
DO: If you don’t have anything nice to say…
LJ: don’t say it at all [LJ’s voice is high-pitched and mocking.]
[The crew sits in silence until LJ sticks her tongue out at DO. Everything is okay.]