Meeting Minutes (3.14.21)

Attendance: The Deity, Leora Jasper, Dash Owens

Location: Outside a bar on Grand and Park

Note-Taker: Dash Owens

The meeting opens when the three interlocutors met outside an unnamed bar in Prospect Heights, where they commenced the debate captivating many New Yorkers: in or out?

After consulting google, the CDC website, a friend studying to be a pharmacist, and the expressions of other Brooklynites walking past them on the sidewalk, the crew decided on out. LJ ordered an Other Half Pilsner and I selected a tantalizing Folksbier sour. TD could not resist the Hot Buttered Rum.

TD: Look at us stimulating the economy right here.

DO: I think we can manage a cheers. Shall we?

[All raise their glass, though the glasses do not touch.]

LJ: Well…[LJ looks pointedly at TD]

TD: Well what?

LJ: I was just wondering if you were ever going to congratulate me.

TD: For…

LJ: My article. Twenty-three hot views on that piece.

TD: Oh, that one. [Checks phone.]

DO: I thought it was hilarious. Great sense of irony.

LJ: Thank you, Dash. That means a lot.

[TD still looking at phone.]

LJ: I’m thinking of writing a follow up.

TD: Maybe sit on that for a little while.

LJ: And why would I do that?

TD: I just don’t know if that is the sort of attention we want for the site. Those people from Twitter…they’re dangerous.

LJ: How are they dangerous?

TD: It makes some writers feel…unsafe.

LJ: Who feels unsafe? You?

TD: Not exactly…

LJ: Dash?

TD: It’s more a general…

LJ: Oh, I know. It’s Queen Elizabeth, right?

DO: Okay, that’s a little too far.

TD: I don’t think that nickname is very funny.

LJ: Really?

TD: It’s mean spirited to call her that.

LJ: Well at least you don’t think it’s violent.

TD: You’re disrespecting her request to be called by the name of her choice. You don’t just get to disregard her wishes.

LJ: Why not?

DO: Okay, Leora. You’ve had your fun. Now cool off.

LJ: No, I will not. She wants to censor me. I can call Queen Elizabeth whatever the fuck I want.

DO: While technically true, it’s still offensive. It’s not always worthwhile to offend someone just because you can.

LJ: It’s not my fault if she’s too thin-skinned to take a joke.

DO: I don’t know, Leora…you’re the one sounding thin-skinned. Someone just asked you to stop doing something, and it doesn’t seem like you have a good reason to keep doing it except to protect your own pride.

LJ: I’m thin-skinned, now? I’m thin-skinned?

DO: I know you don’t like Biróg, and you don’t have to like her. But you do still have to treat her like a person.

TD: Exactly. Treat her like a person. Call her the name she prefers to be called.

DO: If you don’t have anything nice to say…

LJ: don’t say it at all [LJ’s voice is high-pitched and mocking.]

[The crew sits in silence until LJ sticks her tongue out at DO. Everything is okay.]

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