Attendance: The D***Y, Leora Jasper, Dash Owens
Note-Taker: Leora Jasper
Location: Prospect Park, Brooklyn. The Symposium creators met at Grand Army Plaza masked and prepared to make a full loop around the park.
TD: I think we need to talk about Twitter.
DO: Do you see where we are? It is a beautiful winter wonderland. The air is crisp, children are sledding, and you want to talk about Twitter?
TD: I agree, it’s a beautiful day. But I’m concerned about some of the behaviors I’m seeing…
LJ: My behavior. You want to talk about my behavior?
TD: I think we should consider the larger questions of social media itself, not any specific individuals. It really is a matter of…
LJ: Dash isn’t even on Twitter. What did I do that offended you?
TD: It’s not a question of offending anyone. But do we really want to be sucked into that universe? We really don’t have any followers, it isn’t generating interest in The Gadfly Symposium, which is the only reason to be on Twitter. All those people are just tweeting in the hopes that people will read what they write.
DO: I agree. It’s all pretty futile and sad, isn’t it?
LJ: Fuck no. I am not getting off Twitter.
TD: I am your only follower, Leora.
LJ: I’m sorry, Deity. I didn’t realize we were in the quantitative success business.
TD: We’re not. Really, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…
[TD missteps on slick black ice and slides sideways into DO, who wraps his arms around the clumsy fuck with affection.]
DO: Careful now!
LJ: That’s not social distancing!
TD: Oh no, the corona! Ahhhhhhh!
[The crew walks until they reach the frozen lake on the southern end of the park, which they all pause to look at with uncharacteristic amicability. It does not last once they walk on.]
LJ: I want to be abundantly clear on this point: I will not leave Twitter.
TD: You don’t have to. I’ve just given up that our efforts will ever break even there.
DO: What about TikTok?
[The trio agree that they will never, ever use TikTok.]
DO: Quick request. How would we all feel about switching things up at our next meeting? I would like to take a shot at writing the meeting minutes.
[LJ is certain TD mumbled something inaudible but obnoxious.]
LJ: I guess, I mean whatever. I don’t care.