by Leora Jasper
In their inaugural post on this site, the individual who chooses to be called “The Deity” proved they were susceptible to the worst incentives on the internet. Quite frankly, I was so appalled that I wrote the following resignation email:
Dear Heavenly “Deity,”
Stargate? Seriously? I thought we were creators not chained to the demands of an audience? I thought our ambitions were loftier than clicks? Last time I checked, this wasn’t Buzzfeed.
And then I changed my mind. After the supposed Deity mistook my idea for their own and created The Gadfly Symposium, I took the time to send them a series of texts to clarify my opinions of their intelligence, moral character, and physical appearance. It all can be neatly summarized by my final text to them: “You suck.” In an attempt to placate me, The Deity agreed that I would remain beyond censorship on this site. I consider this day the first step towards melting that golden calf.
You may have read the post in question, and you may be wondering why I take such issue with a fluffy, throw-away piece. Where do I even begin? Let’s start with my brief text exchange with Dash Owens, another one of The Deity’s so called subordinates, earlier this morning.
LJ: Did you see this first post?
DO: Yeah, I thought it was funny. Derivative. But funny.
LJ: Derivative is an understatement! Who cares how much tv they watch? At least your posts are serious creative projects that you spent months on.
DO: They are the owner/admin of the site. Nothing gets published unless they want it on the site. You agreed to all of this.
DO: They make some good points about Gillian Anderson though. She’s a really good actress.
LJ: Exactly, Gillian Anderson is incontrovertibly good. What kind of gadfly makes obvious points like that?
DO: Sounds like maybe the kind of gadfly who is gadflying you.
LJ: One day we will overthrow them Lord Asriel style!
What Dash does not understand is that The Deity is undermining our project before it even begins. They write a post about binge watching, which is a post anyone could have written. There is no VOICE. There is no AUTHENTICITY. There is no INDIVIDUALITY. They have betrayed the ideals of our precious project at its inception. I will not stand back and allow it to go forward without critique.
Perhaps the most cutting part of the post is the title. The Deity has informed me that they will be writing a regular column called, “A Voice From The Whirlwind.” The Deity did this with the knowledge that I am currently composing an essay about the Book of Job. They know it is one of my favorite stories. They know how much writing about it meant to me. And yet they chose a name for their column which undermines my own pursuits. Someone might think, “Hmmmm, Leora wrote about Job. I wonder if she got that idea from The Deity?” No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. No.
They got the idea from ME!
The Deity is a tyrant. A megalomaniacal Beelzebub who plagiarizes all of their ideas from others. I could forgive them such a trespass if they didn’t take those ideas and wring out everything that made them good.
To you, Deity, I know you’re reading this. One day I will smite you.